Finding Your Heart’s Desire Using the Love Calculator Workshop
The Love Calculator is a tool that helps single people get really really clear about the characteristics they want in a long-term partner, and then helps them evaluate candidates against those criteria.
The workshop, Finding Your Heart’s Desire Using the Love Calculator, grew out of a meeting between Leslie Flowers, who teaches goal setting, and Karen Tiede, who builds tools that help people solve old problems in new ways, in early 2011. The workshop blends current understanding of happiness research (positive psychology), goal setting, and the challenges adults face using today’s dating habits, including online dating sites, together with a tool that can help it all make sense.
The workshop explores:
- Mind models and why we keep dating the same person
- How we can step outside of dating the “next available” single person and identify what we really want in a love partner
- How to create the core content for an online dating site profile
- How to guide yourself through successful first dates that help you select an ideal love and life partner, without wasting time with people who can’t meet your needs.
We work with an understanding of how your mind works to create a list of characteristics and criteria you want in a partner, with no right or wrong answers. Then, we provide a way for you to remember and review your criteria through the initial first few dates with someone you meet, whether through an online service, chance encounter, or being set up by friends.
Being able to evaluate potential love partners against a clearly defined list of relevant criteria stops you from settling for the “next available” or “better than the last one.”
The workshop lasts about 90 minutes. Participants will receive their own copy of the Love Calculator Toolkit, as well as paper copies of the relevant worksheets so they can get started during the class. Some people may finish a complete list of criteria during the workshop, but others will find they need more reflective time to complete their thinking.
If more time is available, the workshop can be extended to include creating a profile for an online dating service, using the material identified in the criteria-setting section.
Who Benefits from the Finding Your Heart’s Desire Workshop?
People who have taken the workshop and found it helpful include:
- Newly single men and women entering the dating scene again, who may not have used online services the last time they dated
- Singles who recognize they may have dated a number of different people, who turned out to be different versions of essentially the same person, and it’s not working
Traditionally, people with a technical bent have taken to the tool a bit faster. However, even people with romantic perspectives agree that working through 200 candidate profiles in a dating service can be overwhelming, and maybe technology could help with the “weeding out” part of finding romance.
What Groups Schedule This Workshop?
We have offered this workshop to groups of unaffiliated singles, people who responded to a direct invitation in EventBrite or Linkedin, as well as to Singles groups who find each other through Meetup or churches. The workshop is also popular as an entertaining side event for conventions that might attract a significant number of unpartnered attendees.
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Karen Tiede has more than 20 years experience designing systems that streamline repeated tasks. She developed the Finding Your Heart’s Desire Using the Love Calculator process to work through 34 first dates in six months that led to a successful relationship.
Leslie Flowers has spent the last 15 years guiding people to extraordinary results by clearly articulating how the mind works and particularly, why we get the results we do and how to make lasting changes. She has used this work to achieve remarkable success in her own life.